SPOT Light on Kloister

Next in our series of interviews with cabinet officials, we have mr. Prime Minister himself on the microphone. Read on to get all to know about Kloister, his advice on the coming age of the badger, and much more.


1) Kloister, tell me about your introduction to Nation States & The South Pacific...

I was driving home from work and whilst listening to Steve Wright in the Afternoon on BBC Radio 2, they have a spot on there called 'Web Site Of The Day' on which they were highlighting NationStates...It sounding interesting so the following day I created my nation and was placed into the South Pacific where I have been ever since...I noticed the off-site forum, and the Badgers and I popped along to introduce ourselves...And I haven't done a proper day's work since... ;)

2) What has kept you interested and active on the forums for so long?

It's the funny folk I have met...Many of which I can call 'good friends'...It is also a great opportunity to share cultures, faiths and political ideals with others and have your opinion valued...It is also nice to be able to do things for other people...And where else would the Badgers be able to contemplate World Domination?..

3) Is there anything that stands out as being the most influential thing to have happened in the South Pacific?

There are a few individuals who have positively influence over the South Pacific as a whole...You want me to name them?..

4) Tell me about your motivation for serving the Region as an elected Cabinet Minister, now and in the past...

I was draughted in to begin with as Aurellis's deputy and it has just gone from there...Not that I have any great ambitions to dominate the world...We can leave that to the Badgers... wink.gif With everything I do I try to give of my best and serve the community...I like to think that on balance I have been successful...

5) What do you see as the most important work for a Cabinet Minister?

Service...Cabinet Ministers are not there to blow their own trumpets or take advantage of the position granted by the members...We are very fortunate to have previously had and currently have capable, willing and honest people to put themselves forward for the roles...

6) You seem to be the most expert person in the region on the Coming Age of the Badger. What advice can you give for everyone to prepare?..

Don't deny them their JAM...Get rid of everything that has anything to do with Penguins...After all they are evil...Adopt your very own cuddly black & white ball of fluff...

7) Where do you stand on the whole Fuzzie Bunnies thing?

I have heard it said that they could just be a diversion from the Coming Age of the Badger...But they have to be better than the evil penguins...

8a) What is your view on aliens?

They do not exist...Never have...Never will...Elvis is dead along with Jimmy Hoffa...Those who have professed to have been abducted really need to sit down and have a long hard talk with themselves...

8b) and on chameleons?

Ooo...Those eyes...And I don't see how if they are always changing colour they can accessorise anything...

9) If you were to ever leave the South Pacific, which other Region would you grace with your presence?

The South Pacific is the only place for me...

10) Have you ever had to explain your involvement in NationStates/South Pacific to the uninitiated? What was their reaction?

Yup!..They all think I'm nuts...Mind you I did tell them about the Badgers aswel...

11) How close to your real persona is that of 'Kloister'?

It's difficult to put it into percentage terms...but if you are pressing me for an answer I would say that we are completely interchangable...Although I don't let him get anywhere near my underwear drawer...

12) What is your favourite colour?

Black & White...Although I don't want to get into any arguements that they are not colours...I know that...I've studied my colour theory...

13) Would you rather be a 'pain in the neck' or 'pain in the arse'?

Arse...

14) If you were an animal, would you be disappointed that you weren't a human?

I know we talk alot about animals here, but really I have never seen Mr Jones use a keyboard or mouse!..No...

15) What is your favourite type of garden shed?

The Windsor...No!..The Trussock...Ooo there are so many...All those pitched roofs and pot plants...

16) What's the most demeaning act you have ever been asked to perform?

I didn't actually perform but it got close to me being harassed into singing kareoke once...Luckily I escaped and was spared the lifelong shame...

17) Do you think that the Americans really landed on the Moon, or was it just an elaborate hoax?

It doesn't really matter...We live in the Matrix anyway...

18) Stuff or thingy?
Dooberry!..

19a) What question would you most like to be asked by an interviewer?

So what does it feel like to lift all 4 major trophies in the same season, as well as winning the tour de france for the 10 straight year?..

19b) What would your answer to that question be?

Wonderful!..

20) What do you think of students?
They are all dirty...

21) What do you think of old people?

Should be honoured and respected on the whole...

22) What award would you most like to win?

Stupid swimming instructor missed my underwater handstand and so did not pass me for my gold swimming award...I want it retrospectively awarded please...Can you fix it for me?..

I´m afraid that goes beyond the powers of SPOT...on with the next question
23) Which one individual do you hate most in the world?

I try my best to get on with everyone...Don't hate anyone in particular, more the things they do...

24) Why?

It's the way I was raised...

25) Monty Python or Blackadder?

I am going to take both and also add Red Dwarf to the list too...

26) How many Kloisters would it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hey...Are you calling into question my DIY abilities?..If we ignore all of the possible variables and take the simplest scenario...Then I guess it would take just the one...Which is a good job really as there is only one of me...

27) How to be creative with a thermonuclear device?

Just substitute the term for anything else you happen to be talking about...

28) Finally, do you have an inspirational message for our readers?

Never argue with an idiot...They will bring you down to their level then beat you with experience...

Many thanks to Kloister for his time!