SPOT Light on Fudgie

Our resident Hoffaholic answers our questions as the incumbent (or was that recumbent?) Minister for Foreign Affairs...So Fudgie...

1) Tell me about your introduction to Nation States & The South Pacific...
I was bored one night - went to AlbinoBlackSheep and found the link. I started about the same time as the first attempts to overthrow Francos Spain. So my introduction to the forums was fairly rapid - Bistmath coerced me.

2) What has kept you interested and active on the forums for so long?..
The different people, the changing dynamic of the forum, the changes in the game and the general fun that we have.

3) Is there anything that stands out as being the most influential thing to have happened in the South Pacific?..
The introduction of the Charter and the code of Laws. The South Pacific has the longest running, and oldest set of laws in the game feeder wise. Thanks to Goddessness, we have feeder politics.

4) Tell me about your motivation for serving the Region as both an elected Cabinet Minister and Forum Admin...
Power. Shiny Red Buttons. Well, that's what the "oppressed masses" will have you believe. I do it for the fun and the fact that it helps stimulate my mind. Admin wise, I've always been interested in various types of coding - this way I can learn hands on.

5) What do you see as the most important work for a Cabinet Minister?..
Setting an example and playing the role effectively.

6) Given that the Coming Age of the Badger is surely upon us, what advice can you give for everyone to prepare?..
When accessorising Black and White, avoid greens and blues - stick with warm tones - reds, yellows and pinks - and always remember that jam stains are best removed with a little baking soda and soda water.

7) Where do you stand on the whole Fuzzie Bunnies thing?..
They taste good with a side salad and a light hollandaise sauce.

8) If you were to ever leave the South Pacific, which other Region would you grace with your presence?..
Without a doubt, either the East Pacific - I have a long standing friendship with Loop and several of the other players over there, or the Pacific.

9) What is your favourite colour?..
Red. Followed by blues and greens.

10) Have you ever had to explain your involvement in NationStates/South Pacific to the uninitiated?..What was their reaction?..
Yes. My Parents. I believe it went something like this: "You know that game I play? The online one? You know - the political one? Well, can I invite someone to stay with us from that game? Please?"...Actually they were pretty good about it. they don't mind so much.

11) How close to your real persona is that of 'Fudgetopia'?..
I'm proud of the fact that I present the same personality online as I do in RL. I'm possibly a little more reserved online - mostly as I don't want to shock people - but there are a couple of people who can testify I am the same.

12) Would you rather be a 'pain in the neck' or 'pain in the arse'?..
Arse. Definately Arse. Much more uncomfortable.

13) If you were an animal, would you be disappointed that you weren't a human?..
No. How can you be disappointed in not being something that you don't know?

14) What is your favourite head furniture?..
My halo!..

15) What's the most demeaning act you have ever been asked to perform?..
Interesting question. I don't see things as demeaning. If it's something I won't do for ethical reasons - I will, and I have refused to do it. If it's something that is 'below' me - I do and I treat it as a new experience or a learning curve.

16) Do you think that the Americans really landed on the Moon, or was it just an elaborate hoax?..
They landed. They're just hiding all the facts from us - like the green cheese and the little men that live there.

17) What is your favourite cheese?..
Hmm...I like lots of cheeses. I like New Zealand Epicure with pickled onions, Dutch Smoked Gouda, and Brie.

18) Buckaroo or Operation?..
Operation.

19) What question would you most like to be asked by an interviewer?..
What response would you like to hear?

20) What do you think of students?..
I am one. I like them.

21) What do you think of old people?..
I'd better be nice to them - set a precedent because I plan to be one one day.

22) What award would you most like to win?..
I don't really want to win an award for anything. I'd rather be remembered for the deeds I've done.

23) Which one individual do you hate most in the world?
I don't hate anyone. I dislike the actions or the morals of some people intensely. But I don't hate any individual. Beleive it or not, there is good to be found in every person. It's just harder to find in some people.

24) Why?..
That's the way I was raised. My parents emphatically told us that there was no such word as hate. So despite what people do - there is something about them that is positive.

25) Monty Python or Blackadder?..
Can I pick both?
No choose one...
If I have to pick one, I'll take Python. But it's a very narrow margin

26) Just what is going on between you and the Hoff?..
Well, my lawyers tell me to say we're just good friends. His lawyers are still finalising the paperwork that says I should stay more than 100 meters away at all times, and that I'm no longer allowed to skip on his front lawn wearing budgie smugglers and a chest wig.

27) Finally, do you have an inspirational message for our readers?..
You can wear your underwear 4 times before having to wash it. Forwards, Backwards, Inside out Forwards and inside out backwards.

Many thanks to Cabinet Minister Fudge for their precious time and I think we can safely say we are no closer to unravelling the twisted mystery that is Hoffius Obssessionus!..

Viva la Hawaiian Shirts!.. ;)

SPFA Matchday 13

Herculeum claim the title in imperious style...Myrulesia seal runners up spot...DVD to finish above bottom two...Argyle now favourite to finish third...

The scenes of jubilation on the streets of Herculeum were savoured as the Lightnening secured their first league title win in some style with a 6 v 2 away victory over an EPC Minions side that put up a real fight...For the Lightening, who only needed one point from their remaining two games, it was won at a canter and with results going their way could even afforded to have lost both remaining games...Also the record of consecutive victories is now extended to 11 games...A record that will see some beating...In reaction to their win the Lightening Head Coach said..."We are delighted with this seasons performance and ecstatic to lift the trophy...We pushed hard all season and no-one could live with the pace...We are looking forward to next season where we will look to retain the title and dominate for seasons to come..."

In contrast to Herculeum's storming finish to the season, Myrulesia Athletic ended on somewhat of a damp squib, as they failed to win in their 3rd successive game and have to settle for second place...The 2 v 2 draw did the Crustaceans no favours either as they could have moved well clear of DVD and even overtaken Badgers for the top three spot...Athletics, as the team that set the pace for much of the season, they were many punters tips for the top spot but never really looked the same side after they slipped up in matchday 8 at home to Herculeum, loosing an enthralling encounter 3 v 5...A representative from Myrulesia went on record..."We are obviously disappointed with the end to the season and were confident that we could at least finish the season with far better form than we have shown...But we can be happy overall with the majority of the season and will be looking to take the title from Herculeum next season..."

Badgers United, who looked on course to finish in the top three following 3 straight wins, came completely unstuck against a rejuvinated Argyle side that showed no mercy and hammered United 3 goals to nil...A result that puts Argyle very much in the driving seat for the top three finish...It was rumoured that the Badger side had been out partying the night before the big game, a report that has not drawn comment from the backroom staff...But it was evident on the pitch that not everything was well and in the end were lucky to come away with only a three goal deficit...However sources close to the team have commented that overly potent JAM was probably the cause and an internal investiation would be mounted to ascertain if any foul play was involved...

DVD showed no mercy and finally notched up a much needed win against the struggling Cheeseheads...Without a win in 6 games DVD were in grave danger of being hauled into the mire at the foot of the table, but this victory has secured a mid table finish...In a season that promised much, in reality has delivered little and a summer of rebuilding will be required if they are to recapture previous glories...

With just one game of the season remaining the title is claimed by Herculeum Lightening...Myrulesia Athletics are assured of 2nd place...Third is still very much up for grabs and WB Argyle, Badgers United and CR Crusty Crustaceans are all in the mix...DVD are safe but it is going to be either EPC Minions or Kaselande Cheeseheads that finish bottom...On current form the Minions should just escape, but in a season that has provided the unexpected as routine, who knows...The final fixtures for next week are:

WB Argyle v EPC Minions
CR Crusty Crustaceans v Badgers United
Kaselande Cheeseheads v Myrulesia Athletics
Herculeum Lightening v DVD United

Good luck to all the teams...

Bob Fibber, Roving Reporter, Reporting...

Delegate Hopeful Ejected...

The Radical Defender becomes the latest nation to be ejected from the South Pacific following their breach of the Martial & Succession Law...

The Cabinet had been tracking The Radical Defender (TRD) and their increasing endorsement total over the past couple of weeks...After requests by the Cabinet for TRD to introduce themselves to the region and make a declaration of their intent, which was subsequently complied with yesterday (29th May 2006), they passed the 80% mark at which were in violation of the law and were therefore ejected from the South Pacific...

The declaration from TRD to run for the Delegacy was met with un-enthusiastic responses from the members of the South Pacific...Many pressing the point that TRD had shown little benefit to them assuming the Delegacy...

One long standing member of the region said..."It's going to take more than a declaration (one forum post) to convince me to remove my support from the current delegate. Change just for the sake of change doesn't impress me..."

This was echoed by another prominent member..."Sorry, you haven't convinced me of anything other than to support the current delegate..."

Another stated, after noticing inconsistencies in TRD's declaration..."I'm sorry, but your response to question 5 contradicts that of your response to question 3. You say you do not plan on changing anything at the moment and have said of nothing that you might even consider changing, yet, then say you have new ideas and opinions on how things 'should' be run..."

In making a declaration of intentions regarding the Delegate's seat ay challenger is requested to respond to a defined list of questions...The two questions and subsequent responses referred to were:

3) What you plan to change if you become delegate?
"I do not plan on changing anything at the moment. As matters arise, I will take appropriate action by asking the opinions of all the nations in the region. I feel that everyone should have an equal say in the government..."

5) Why you would do a better job than our current delegate?
"I would be new to the position and possibly have new ideas and opinions as to how things should be run. It is often beneficial to have an outsider come in because they are better able to see what changes are needed..."

The current Delegate, Caer Rialis, was bound by the laws of the Region and duly acted to apply the law as it currently stands..."As things stand now, I have 300 endorsements whereas the Radical Defender has 241. This puts him at 80.3%, which stands above the 80% threshold. Whereas TRD has neither been a registerted member of these boards for 60 days, nor a member of the UN for 30 days, it is my sad duty to uphold the laws of this region, protecting our freedoms, and eject said Radical Defender..."

In related news, the amendments to the Martial & Succession Law are to be placed before the members of the South Pacific for voting shortly...Driven by the recent changes to Nation States game rules the main changes to the existing law will centre around reducing the threshold percentage (of the current Delegate's endoresement count) that any challenger can pass before the law is enacted...It current stands at 80% but in the amended law would drop to 50%...Also the timescale for any Delegacy contest would reduce from 28 days to 14 days...It is expected that the amendedments will gain widespread support...

SPOT Light on Eastwales

Affectionately known as 'Ales', the Minister of Justice has kindly agreed to spare us a few minutes as we tear him away from the flogging, intimidation and interrogation to tell us a little more about himself...So Eastwales...

1) Tell me about your introduction to Nation States & The South Pacific...
Such a long time ago I'm not sure I remember! I've a feeling I clicked a link on a news site, set up a nation which was placed in TSP. I kind of fiddled about there for a few weeks before taking the plunge and logging onto the offsite forum, where I then proceeded to lurk for quite a while longer before finally plucking up the courage to post!!

2) What has kept you interested and active on the forums for so long?..
There's always something interesting around the corner and I don't want to miss it! That and all the fun people that inhabit this little world.

3) Is there anything that stands out as being the most influential thing to have happened in the South Pacific?..
Not incidents, more the people I've encountered, especially in my early days.

4) Tell me about your motivation for serving the Region as an elected Cabinet Minister...
To ensure that the region is a pleasant place for pleasant people to inhabit.

5) What do you see as the most important work for a Cabinet Minister?..
I refer the honourable gentleman to my previous response...

6) Given that the Coming Age of the Badger is surely upon us, what advice can you give for everyone to prepare?..
Make sure you're well stocked up with JAM

7) Where do you stand on the whole Fuzzie Bunnies thing?..
The word "evil" keeps popping into my head?

8) If you were to ever leave the South Pacific, which other Region would you grace with your presence?..
I'll only leave hear in a cardboard box!

9) What is your favourite colour?..
Blue

10) Have you ever had to explain your involvement in NationStates/South Pacific to the uninitiated?..What was their reaction?..
No, I try and keep my online browsing to myself!!

11) How close to your real persona is that of 'EastWales'?..
We're pretty much the same person, I don't do RP too well.

12) Would you rather be a 'pain in the neck' or 'pain in the arse'?..
In the neck, I think

13) If you were an animal, would you be disappointed that you weren't a human?..
Depends on which animal, but i reckon I would be.

14) What is your favourite head furniture?..
???

15) What's the most demeaning act you have ever been asked to perform?..
Can't think on one at the moment ;o)

16) Do you think that the Americans really landed on the Moon, or was it just an elaborate hoax?..
A hoax, of course. They had to buy road maps when they invaded Grenada, so do you really think they could find their way all the way to the Moon?!!?

17) What is your favourite cheese?..
Stilton

18) Buckaroo or Operation?..
Buckaroo, such fun with a mule like donkey.

19) What question would you most like to be asked by an interviewer?..
How did you make your first £million

20) What do you think of students?..
They'll have to pay taxes one day.

21) What do you think of old people?..
I aspire to be one, one day.

22) What award would you most like to win?..
Oooooh, something to do with cricket.

23) Which one individual do you hate most in the world?
I don't hate anyone, but I dislike a few.

24) Why?..
Do I have to have a reason?

25) Monty Python or Blackadder?..
Not able to choose! Unless it's Life Of Brian

26) Finally, do you have an inspirational message for our readers?..
Just because you're not paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

So not only does our resident inquisitor get kicks from mule like donkeys, he will usually smell of Stilton and JAM...

Our thanks to Ales for the interview and we look forward to quizzing you again... ;)

SP Stick Cricket Tournament

Stick Cricket comes to the South Pacific...

Following in the grand tradition of South Pacific sporting competitions, this new game is available in a league format...Stick Cricket is a fun and easy game to play...The details are:

Web Site Address: www.stickcricket.com
The League is called: SP Cricket
The password is: theashes

The league is played over 6 rounds each lasting 4 days...Each player can play as many games as they want during each round to try to improve on their score...

To submit scores for the league competition just select to play a '1 Player' game and then select the 'All Star' type of game...

Happy hitting...

SPFA Matchday 12

League title within Herculeum's grasp...Myrulesia slip up again...Badgers open up a whole can of 'whoop ass' on the Penguins...Crustaceans snip DVD down to size...And it's still all to play for at the bottom

Herculeum Lighting are just one point away from securing their first ever league title...Only Myrulesia can prevent this, but given their un-explainable dip in form it would seem unlikely...It was yet another routine win that sees Herculeum set a league record for the longest winning run of any team...Kaselande never threatened the Lightning goal once as they failed to hit the net for the 5th successive game and crash to their 8th straight leaue defeat...Two points adrift of EPC the odds are stacked very much in favour of the Minions steering clear of bottom spot by the skin of their pointy little beaks...On the imminent winning of the league the Lightning Head Coach said:..'We have had an unbelievable season and to win our first title in such style is fantastic...We are looking forward to the last game of the season, at home against DVD, where we can parade the silverware in front of the fans'...

Meanwhile the other form team of the moment, Badgers United, crushed the EPC Minions by an overwhelming 6 goals to 2...In a one sided game it was only luck and a dodgy refereeing decision that granted the Minions the 2 goals...If only the Badgers could have found this form, 3 wins in the last 4 games, earlier on in the season they would have been serious title challengers...But a top three finish beckons as they leapfrog WB Argyle to take 3rd spot...This could see the Badgers finish in the top three for the second time in the last 3 seasons, so not much to be despondant about...

The other big winners of the day were CR Crusty Crustaceans with a thumping 5 v 2 victory over a DVD United side that just can't win at the moment...They have gone six games without a win and only have 3 victories to their name all season...As past champions they really did expect more, but oh! how the great have fallen...Averaging only a point a game they find themselves 19 points of the pace at the top...Crusty with this win, have as good as secured their mid table finish and with only the one defeat in the last six games have really galvanised and will surely mount a challenge for next season...

WB Argyle and Myrulesia did each other no favours, with both sides desperate for a win to keep the pressure on their respective rivals...The further 2 dropped points for both sides sees Myrulesia effectively surrender the title to Herculeum along with Argyle giving up a lucrative top three finish to the Badgers...The goalless draw was really quite a dull and tepid affair with both teams cagey from the off...With few chances being created it was either going to be a piece of craftmanship or luck that would make the breakthrough, but neither came and the game spluttered out...On the bright side Myrulesia are gauranteed of finishing no lower than 2nd...Argyle however could find themselves finishing as low as 5th...

Just 2 games remaining this season and with the title almost wrapped up, our attention turns very much to the battle for 3rd and that haunting bottom spot...

Join me, Bob Fibber, your roving reporter this time next week for Matchday 13 reports...

Until then remember its just a game... ;)

SPFA Matchday 11

Herculeum take a huge step towards the title as Myrulesia lose at home to a free scoring Badgers United...Cheeseheads win foot of table 6 pointer...Poor run continues for DVD & Argyle...

Herculeum Lightning go 3 points clear at the top with their 9th straight victory...One that had to be hard fought against a resilient Crustacean side that looks set to be embroiled in a sports betting scandal soon...The 3 v 2 victory sees the Lightning take a step closer to winning the title...'What scandal...There is no scandal attached to, affiliated with, the Crusty Crustaceans...We don't know where these rumours keep coming from...'

A rather defensive response from the Head Coach when asked about the defeat...

Myrulesia were well beaten at home by a resurgent Badgers United that have now won 3 out of the last 4...A victory which sees them move up to 4th in the table, level on points with WB Argyle...In a game dominated by the Badgers strikers, Myrulesia will look back and rue the missed chances afforded by a still somewhat shaky United defence...But with the 3 points dropped, winning the title is now not so much in their own hands...The United coach said after the match...'We are absolutely delighted with our current form...And to beat the top team in the league is a real result for us...We have our sights set on finishing 3rd this season...'

DVD United and WB Argyle played out a 2 v 2 draw that does neither team any favours...DVD are still in slight danger towards the foot of the table and Argyle have equalled Crusty's record of drawn games this season...DVD have suffered a real slump in form and having only registered 2 points from the last 5 games have to turn things around, and quickly...

The Cheeseheads, after spending all season propping up the table, beat EPC Minions comprehensively to leave them languishing 2 points adrift at the foot of the table...Kaselande are without a win in 7 and are now the bookies favourite for bottom spot...The Minions have really pulled things out of the fire after picking up 5 points over the last 4 games...'We are over the moon that we have now moved off the bottom...It's taken all season but the team is really playing together and with just another couple of good results we should be safe...'

With just 3 games of the season to go there is still everything up for grabs, but Herculeum are odds on to win the title with Kaselande attracting good money to finish bottom...

Bob Fibber, roving reporter, reporting...

Award Guidelines Enacted

In a move to recognise outstanding achievement, the South Pacific Assembly today voted to enact the official guidelines for the South Pacific Awards...

The guidelines were approved by 18 votes to 1 in a vote that has been open for the past week...The Awards are to recognise distinguished and meritorious service to the South Pacific by the awarding one of 3 titles...

The Goddessness Award is for those individuals that, who through elected service, have acted beyond the call of duty in the service of the Region...

The service medal:












The Service Bar is designed to be displayed in the Members signature on the Forums...


The Matt-Duck Award is primarily focussed on service for the defense of the Region and given the recent change to Nation States rules there could well be more activity in the Intelligence and Defence arms of the Cabinet...







The final award is the Purple Lampshade which is more lighthearted and looks to reward those individuals who make the South Pacific a jolly nice place to be...















The full guidelines for how members can qualify and nominate for the Awards can be found here

SPFA Matchday 10

The Lighting stretch their winning streak to 8 games but still lose top spot on goal difference to Myrulesia...Crusty registers first win in 7 games...Badgers do the double over DVD who have not won in four...Cheeseheads & Minions still battling for bottom spot...

In what was the highest scoring round of games so far this season Myrulesia hit eight past the much improved EPC Minions and in doing so regain the top spot on goal difference from Herculeum...8 v 4 is the highest scoring game so far this season and the Athletics were unstoppable in front of goal, but paid the price at the back which saw a rejuvinated Minions side score 4 wonderful goals...EPC will be hoping that next week they will be able to tighten up the defence, leapfrog the Cheeseheads, and move off the bottom of the table for the first time this season...'8 goals...Fabulous...Can't praise the strikers enough, but our defence will be out on the training ground first thing in the morning...We can't leak goals like that if we want to stay on top for the rest of the season...This is likely to come down to goal difference and we have to keep ahead of Herculeum on points and goals...'


Crusty Crustaceans seem to have finally exorcised the demons of relegation in recording their first win in 7 long games...And a crucial win at that as dropped points at home to the Cheeseheads would have been something of a disaster and spoilt chances for a secure top half finish...The clean sheet did also please the head coach...Well to a certain extent anyway...'Over the moon with me boys...Played a blinder and to come away with all three points will keep the cooking pot cool for another week...But my finances have taken a bit of hit...Gotta make some money out the game somehow'...

Argyle pushed Herculeum all the way in a game that looked like derailing their title push...But after trailing for much of the match managed to score twice in the last quarter of an hour to keep the winning streak very much in tact...Argyle were anxious to cement their 3rd place spot but have seen the gap narrow to them and the chasing pack...

The clash of the United's at Sett Stadium was another epic and saw the Badgers do the double over DVD this season...DVD looked in good shape for the first half hour, and with the score at 2 v 2 the result could have gone either way...But some slick midfield play saw the Badgers open up a lead just before half time...The second period saw one way traffic and DVD were at a loss at how to stop the onslaught...Four goals without reply sees the Badgers cut their goal difference to just -1 and move up to within just 2 points of 3rd place...This result leaves DVD without a win in four games and may now begin to look rather hurriedly over their shoulders...In the post match interviews both coaches were putting across the same message...'It's crucial to move up the table as soon as we can and secure that 3rd place...Finishing in the bottom three just will not do...No it will not do at all...'

So the odds seem to swinging marginally back in favour of Myrulesia, but no-one is ruling out Herculeum and their magnificent performance this season...It's still wide open for third spot and with 4 teams all in the mix it will crucial to get points on the board over the next couple of games...Cheeseheads are now at the same odds to finish bottom as EPC Minions...One good performance from either team over the remaining games might well be enough to condemn the other to a bottom finish...

Bob Fibber, roving reporter, reporting...

SPOT Light on Caer Rialis

We are delighted to have with us today, the Delegate, former Prime Minister and general 'Wise Man' of the South Pacific...Caer Rialis...

1) Tell me about your introduction to Nation States & The South Pacific...

One day, as I lay, my back to an apple tree, reading Machiavelli’s Discourses with Livy, a herald came riding up on a dappled mare, bidding me to come and join the game of NationStates. . . . .actually, I’m part of the Yahoo Group for Dork Tower. Someone posted the link back in March 2003 and I’ve been part of the game since.

When the link to the off-site forums was posted back in July ’03, I decided to sign up as the forums for the game left a lot to be desired.

2) What has kept you interested and active on the forums for so long?..

It’s a good bunch of people. Sure, we have some kids who have delusions of self-importance and who enjoy bugging others, but on the whole we have good, creative, fun bunch of folk.

3) Is there anything that stands out as being the most influential thing to have happened in the South Pacific?..

I think that would have to have been the first attempt Savage Lands Reloaded tried to seize the region, back in January 2004. The cold war between the South Pacific and the NPO turned hot then, even though not all within the NPO knew the extent to which some of their members were involved in the coup attempt. The region came very close, very very close to being taken out by SLR then, but we stuck together. The region worked together and it was extremely exciting.

4) Tell me about your motivation for serving the Region as both an elected Cabinet Minister and the Delegate...

I think that if you want a community to flourish, you have to serve it in the way you are called to do so. I was asked, long ago, to run for office, but I couldn’t run against friends. When the SoFA post opened on the Shaft’s succession to the Delegacy, I moved into that slot. When the Shaft was unable to serve as delegate because of real-life, I had the time and the temperament to serve as delegate.

And now, when Goddessness, again for real-life issues, could no longer serve as Delegate, well, there’s a reason past delegates shouldn’t vamoose out of the region, I was able to step back in to continue to serve.

5) What do you see as the most important work for the Delegate?..

Keep the peace. We have a lot of people, with a lot of agendas running around here. My job is to help keep things civil, keep people from antagonizing others and to maintain the community of the South Pacific.

6) Given that the Coming Age of the Badger is surely upon us, what advice can you give for everyone to prepare?..

Join the resistance. Do not allow them to seize control of anything outside their
setts.

7) Can you explain your hatred of the Fuzzie Bunnies?..

Cute and fuzzy bunnies have promoted the ‘Don’t Worry, Be Happy’ mentality of most demagogues. Their cuteness beguiles all who cannot see behind that pretty little shell to the true perfidy behind their motives of global chaos and destruction!

8) If you were to ever leave the South Pacific, which other Region would you grace with your presence?..

If I was ever unwelcome within the South Pacific, I would simply retire from the game. No other region means so much to me than this one.

9) What is your favourite colour?..

Blue.

10) Have you ever had to explain your involvement in NationStates/South Pacific to the uninitiated?..What was their reaction?..

Naw. I’m seen as a bit of geek myself in real-life, but, truly, I have surpassed all forms and levels of geekdom to be enshrined as a dork.

11) How close to your real persona is that of Emperor Oscar I?..

Oh, I try not to make my role play characters Mary Janes. Although there are times I hear voices. . . . . **looks around, furtively**

Actually, I put a bit of myself into every role play character I’ve started off here. In Oscar, I put a lot of my love of folklore and mythology.

12) Would you rather be a 'pain in the neck' or 'pain in the arse'?..

I prefer ‘pain in the keister’

13) If you were an animal, would you be disappointed that you weren't a human?..

Sure. I mean, opposable thumbs. Other animals might have fur and claws, or can see for miles and miles, have exceptional hearing, etc. but, besides pandas, who else has opposable thumbs?

Okay, opossums, but name another.

Okay, Orangutans, but name a fifth

All right, Cebids, but that’s it!

14) What is your favourite head furniture?..

A pillow upon which to rest my weary head.

15) What's the most demeaning act you have ever been asked to perform?..

Demeaning you say? Well, I get asked to buss the lunch tables in the student cafeteria of my school every day, which leads the kids to call me the garbage man in class. I think that’s demeaning to teachers.

16) Do you think that the Americans really landed on the Moon, or was it just an elaborate hoax?..

Funny you should ask this. I had a student two years ago announce that the moon landing was a hoax, because he saw a report outlining the hoax on Fox News. I told him to consider your source then assigned him a five page paper on the topic.

17) What is your favourite cheese?..

Provolone

18) Buckaroo or Operation?..

Risk

19) What question would you most like to be asked by an interviewer?..

What is the capitol of Assyria?

20) What do you think of students?..

Most are good people, but they always have to keep their eyes on the ultimate
goal.

21) What do you think of old people?..

Old people should be respected.

22) What award would you most like to win?..

I’d like to win a Golden Apple, but it’s too political in this state.

23) Which one individual do you hate most in the world?

Hate is a strong word. I decided long ago not to hate a soul, but to try and help. If they won’t accept my help, well, why waste the time and emotion over them?

24) Why?..

It’s an intriguing scientific phenomenon.

25) Monty Python or Blackadder?..

Whoa. British comedy and you left out the Young Ones? Shame. Shame

It depends on which Blackadder. I couldn’t stand Blackadder I, but love the biting wit in Blackadders II, III and Goes Forth.

26) Finally, do you have an inspirational message for our readers?..

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may
Old time is still a-flying
And that same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be a-dying.

Very revealing indeed...Dork?..Never!..And what's this about a resistance?..
Our thanks to Caer Rialis for his time in participating in this interview...

SPOT Light on Kaselande

Kaselande...The Minister of Defence has kindly agreed to take his itchy trigger finger off the thermonuclear device launch button...But only for a short time...So Kaselande...

1) Tell me about your introduction to Nation States & The South Pacific...

It all started in Civics class last year. My teacher was a couple fries short of a happy meal so he didn't go throught the right channels to get our region set up. So I created Kaselande and moved it to our class region, The Frozen Tundra of Siban. So after 3 weeks of anarchy in a class region we stopped the project. So since our teacher didnt go through the proper channels it was a semi blessing, I was able to keep Kaselande. So I moved to the SP and signed up the next day, Feb. 5th.

2) What has kept you interested and active on the forums for so long?..

Boredom. My school is dumb enough to give out laptops and give us plenty of free time during the day. So I get bored and surf around. But even though thats why I joined the forums I like the people and the activity we have as a region.

3) Is there anything that stands out as being the most influential thing to have happened in the South Pacific?..

Well there are a couple of times. One thing is all the little crackpot bids we get for the delegate seat every couple of months. It shows the world how we react to a crisis and how we stick together. The age of Fudgie, Fudge as PM, great time for the SP. And of course Goddessness coming back to the region.

4) Tell me about your motivation for serving the Region as an elected Cabinet Minister...

My motovation for running was to serve the region. I had been in the DSP and saw the 2 previous Ministers of Defence to leave in the middle of their term. So I decided to change that, so I ran and I've been in the position ever since.

5) What do you see as the most important work for a Cabinet Minister?..

The most important thing for us in cabinet to do is to serve the people. We should take ideas posted by the people and develop them. Without the people we have no power.

6) Given that the Coming Age of the Badger is surely upon us, what advice can you give for everyone to prepare?..

Stock up on bacon treats to pay our badger overlords for tribute I guess.

7) Where do you stand on the Fuzzie Bunnies?..

The only time I like bunnys, are when they are on my plate.

8) If you were to ever leave the South Pacific, which other Region would you grace with your presence?..

Pacific, I <3>

9) What is your favourite colour?..

White

10) Have you ever had to explain your involvement in NationStates/South Pacific to the uninitiated?..What was their reaction?..

Nope...

11) How close to your real persona is that of Kaselande, Defender of the Realm, General of the Armed Forces?..

Same thing except I'm more of an asshole in real life. Just the other day I told someone I hurt myself with fireworks to prove that they were gullable.

12) Would you rather be a 'pain in the neck' or 'pain in the arse'?..

Pain in the arse.

13) If you were an animal, would you be disappointed that you weren't a human?..

No, they dont know what they are missing. Except house pets I guess.

14) What is your favourite head furniture?..

Bed I guess.

15) What's the most demeaning act you have ever been asked to perform?..

Umm.

16) Do you think that the Americans really landed on the Moon, or was it just an elaborate hoax?..

We landed the first time, the rest of the times were hoaxes.

17) What is your favourite cheese?..

Baked Brie.

18) Buckaroo or Operation?..

Operation

19) What question would you most like to be asked by an interviewer?..

What would Jesus Brew?

20) What do you think of students?..

I love them, I am one after all

21) What do you think of old people?..

They're alright. I work part time at a old folk home and when ever I work the morning shift I have to help at least on oldie get their chest hair out of their zipper...

22) What award would you most like to win?..

Best Person.

23) Which one individual do you hate most in the world?

This girl I swim with

24) Why?..

She's a pain in the arse

25) Monty Python or Blackadder?..

BA is pretty sweet. Never seen Monty Python

26) Finally, do you have an inspirational message for our readers?..

Do the Dew!

Many thanks to Kaselande and his 'very interesting' responses to those questions...Now all we have to do is get you to perform some demeaning acts whilst watching copious amounts of Monty Python...

SPFA Matchday 9

The top three all record wins...Crusty Crustaceans no win in six...EPC Minions now just 1 point adrift...

The top two managed to keep their fantastic winning runs going with narrow victories...Herculeum Lightning beating Badgers United 3v2 at home and Myrulesia Athletic seeing of a spirited DVD United 5v4 away from home...

Herculeum did not go in front until the final 10 minutes after a resolute performance by a Badger's side that has had defensive problems all season...It appeared that they had finally laid them to rest after keeping the Lightning at bay for almost 80 minutes...But a defensive mistake allowed Herculeum's leading striker to round the keeper and unchallenged slot the ball home from 10 yards out...United then just hit the self destruct button and following building pressure conceded what was the winning goal within a matter of minutes...In the post match interview the United's Head Coach said: '...I thought we had them...But our defence just can't seem to hold water...We are going to have to rectify this and quickly if we are to keep our goal of a top half finish...'

DVD made it 3 games without a win and conceded 5 for the second time in those three games...In a game that Myrulesia never looked like loosing after taking an early 2 goal lead, DVD managed to claw their way back level, only to see Athletics re-establish their 2 goal cushion soon after the half time interval...With a fifth goal coming soon after Myrulesia should have finished the game easily, but DVD United did not give it up as a lost cause and effectively laid siege to Myrulesia's goal...It paid dividends as they pulled back a goal from a nicely worked free-kick that deflected in off a defender, wrong footing the goalkeeper...Then from another set piece, this time a corner, a towering header from their centre forward made the net bulge...But time ran out on what might have been a miraculous recovery...

WB Argyle strengthened their grip on 3rd spot with a comprehensive and almost faultless performance against a Cheesehead side that looked completely devoid of both attacking and defensive skill and ideas...The 3v0 victory keeps Kaselande very much in the relegation battle and with EPC picking up another point they are going to be looking with some concern over their shoulders...'We are delighted to have picked up another 3 points and of course to have kept a clean sheet...We have the best defensive record in the league and are looking to puch on now and challenge the top two...There are still enough games left for us to do something special...'

CR Crusty Crustaceans just cannot buy a win at the moment and the bookmakers have stopped taking bets on them finishing with the highest amout of draws in the league this season...In the nine games so far this season they have failed to score in 4 of those...Only EPC and the Cheeseheads with 7 & 5 respectively have worse records...So with yet another goalless draw, and this time against what surely now are classed as relegation rivals CR's season is perilously close to petering out...A dusting off of those shooting boots is what's needed...The following was overheard coming from Crusty's locker room: '...Arrr! Another tie and this time with no scoring!!!!!!!! Lads, you have to think of the most important thing out there when you go play!"

To win?
To score?
The fans?

No! Me money!!!!!! Now, we had better win next week, or at least make sure we only get the under so I can win. Arr arrr arrr!..'

So the league table sees no change apart from Badgers United and Crusty Crustaceans swapping places on goal difference...It looks like the title will be won by either Herculeum or Myrulesia with WB Argyle an outside bet at 7 points behind...EPC Minions, who a couple of weeks ago were certainties for relegation, now have a glimmer of hope and are only a point behind the Cheeseheads as their season continues to unravel...

Bob Fibber, Roving Sports Reporter, Reporting...